Run Dedeaux Run

I lost 10 inches today. So what if it was just 10 inches of bandage and padding. I am SOOOO glad to have gotten the bandages from surgery removed this morning. Sure, my knee hurts and I’m kind of stiff, but the bandage was terrible. I couldn’t sleep well because I was basically stuck in one position: lying on my back with my leg propped on a little pillow. Sounds okay but it was uncomfortable. Luckily, it was only for 3 nights and now I’M FREE!!! 🙂

I have the pictures from the arthroscopy. According to the doctor, I had a big gash in my cartilage and then fraying. I guess… The photos sort of look like phases of the moon to me! I should ‘much better’ now, though. That’s the official prognosis.

I am able to get up and down the stairs by myself, now. I’m only using one crutch and I could really go without them all together. I’m using it just in case I stumble or something. I didn’t take pain meds because I need to drive my daughter and myself around this morning. I can tell the difference without the pills but it’s manageable. So, I’m healed! ready to run!!

I was only kidding. I know I’m just starting recovery. I can walk around a little bit then my knee starts hurting and I have to sit and rest it. My instructions are that I can do whatever I want until it starts hurting – which does not take long – so I won’t be doing much. Oh! I get to shower again! Woo Hoo!!!

Next week, I will probably be back at physical therapy. Hopefully, I’ll patch up and recover quickly and I’ll be back out on the streets! …running…

Until then, I’ll see you around. Watch out for the electronic carts. I may be driving.

It may not look so much like it now, but I can do it!

I had my knee surgery yesterday and it went well.  Nothing unexpected.  It appeared as if the cartilage damage was from a fall I had during a run last year.  Did I mention that I fall sometimes?  Last year, maybe in October, our group was about a mile or so into an 8 or 9 mile run and I tripped and fell.  I broke the fall with my knee – THE knee.  It was terrible.  It was still kind of dark and we had really just started the run so I was feeling bad that someone would have to walk back home with me, so I limped a few steps and then just ran the rest of the 7 miles in pain.  I don’t mean kinda hurting a little bit pain, I mean REALLY, REALLY hurting like HELL pain.  In hindsight, maybe I should have just gone home.   When I did get home and could look down at my knee, I realized there was a big gash and blood was running down my shin.  I did notice that people we ran past kind of looked a little too long in my direction.  No one told me, though – which was good.  I would have panicked.  I was limping for days after the fall.  It never occurred to me that I’d caused any lasting damage, though.

Yesterday morning I started to have second thoughts and was wondering if I was making the right decision.  I thought I might be able to just get another shot in my knee and could make it through December.  Obviously, I went ahead with the procedure and I’m glad I did but recovery will be harder than I thought.  Sitting around not able to do anything is killing me already and it’s been less than 24 hours.  I can’t bear any weight on my knee now so I have crutches that are cumbersome to say the least.  I want to just hop where I need to go but have been instructed not to….  

Random info about the hospital visit:  My pre-op nurse was funny.  She called me sugar, babe, honey, sweetie, baby, honey bunch…  I don’t know where she was from, but she pulled out all of the southern terms of endearment!  She also told me how she hates to see black girls go pail.  Apparently, we are in BAD shape if we start losing color.  I am usually offended by being called ‘girl’ but for some reason I wasn’t at all bothered with her.  She was funny and she kept me from thinking too much about the surgery.  🙂  Good bedside manner is very underrated. 

So…  I’m here at home with this big old dressing and bandage on my knee.  This is gonna be interesting.  Will I be back running in 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a month?  I don’t know.  I can’t wait, though.  I just need to keep reminding myself that there aren’t any short cuts.  In this case, short cuts would be a bad thing.  I’m gonna struggle with this.

I can do it, though…

It’s been kind of slow in the training and eating better arena. I’m just plugging along on my Jeff Galloway “Just Finish” plan. Eating is a little less foolish, but not what it should be.

Yesterday morning, I ran 8 miles on the treadmill. I don’t now if you’ve ever run on the treadmill, but 8 miles on one is a LOOONG way. It is the most boring and uninspiring thing in the world. Ugh. I really don’t like running on the TM. Well, as I think about it, maybe it’s not ALL bad. There is the chance to catch up with all of the infomercials. I get to see all of the stuff that I didn’t even know I needed – and sometimes I even get offered the ‘two for one’ price if I could only call within the 19 minutes left for the commercial… Anyway. I am rambling. My husband calls this my ‘stream of thought’ style of writing.

ANYWAY… The plan said run 8 miles, so I did. I am souped up on anti-inflammatory medicine again, so I figured I’d be just fine. At about 3-1/2 or 4 miles, my knee (THE knee) started hurting. I thought “So what… I’m getting it fixed this week anyway” and kept going. I practiced my run-walk-run with a 1 to 1 and a half mile run followed by 2 minutes of walking at a brisk pace. As much as I dislike stopping to walk, it does help. I was able to maintain pretty good breathing and the rest always seemed to come when my knee needed it the most. It made me feel somewhat refreshed and sort of like I was starting a new run every time. That danged Jeff G knows his stuff, I guess. (I think he’s run hundreds of marathons like this… really – HUNDREDS according to his book.)

I went for my pre-op exam and had an interesting conversation with the PA. He asked me why I even WANTED to run. Before I answered, he told me running was overrated. Hmph… I rattled off some crap about why I run then I just told him that I run because I want to. Two years ago, I would never have imagined that I’d be defending my desire to run.

I want to run. I could easily not put myself through the discomfort, disappointment, hot mornings, lost sleep (I can’t manage to go to bed on time EVER) or blistered feet (I know, TMI) but I want to run. MAN – I WANT TO RUN. That made me smile. I like the way I feel when I finish a run. I like the way I feel when I think about all of the people that kind of wanted to get up and do something but didn’t have enough of whatever it takes to roll out of the bed and get out there. I like to know that I’ve encouraged someone else to be more active. I like hearing “Your heart is healthy” at the doctor’s office. I like setting a good example for my children. I like the ‘likes’ and ‘shout outs’ from friends who want to encourage me. I like the time I spend with my husband running. I like running with my friends. I like mapping a route, running it and then looking at it online afterward. I sooooo can’t wait to get back outside to run again. I miss my group. 😦

That’s why I grind like I do. I want to run. Wow. I WANT to run.

I can do it. (You can too, by the way!!)

ps… Please call me in the morning at 2 and remind me that I WANT to run 😉

I’m on vacation in South Carolina but I’m still trying to stay on the plan.  I mean EXERCISE plan because I AM in the south:  land of slower living, all things pork and best of all…  Krispy Kreme and Bojangles.  I haven’t had either of our family favorites, yet but I have a hunch we’ll be going by both places today.  Yay!  So anyway.  I am keeping the best I can to the exercise plan but am unfortunately eating like there is no tomorrow.  That’s okay – if tomorrow gets here, I’ll do better then.  🙂

I ran 7 miles on the treadmill today.  I was doing okay until I had to ‘go’.  The urge was strong sometimes, less so at other times, but for the majority of the last 5 miles, I needed to ‘go’.  Why in the world would I write about this?  I have no idea.  I just kept thinking and wondering how bad it would have to get before I’d get off of the treadmill, walk all of the way downstairs to the dressing room and visit the ladies’ room.   I know if I went down there, I might not come back, so I just kept going.  I guess I didn’t need to go as bad as I was imagining I needed to go.  It’s gets boring on the treadmill and my mind wanders. 

It wandered back to one time last year when our group was running and everyone thought they saw a lady in the woods using the bathroom.  It was in  residential area off the path of the public hike/bike trail – which is used by lots of people.  Dang!  I didn’t see her.  I think I was in Mary World at the time but three of the other people running with me did see her.  It was crazy.   Just how bad did she need to ‘go’?  How long did she run before she decided the semi-wooded trail was a good place to stop and relieve herself?  Did she know she was spotted?

Oh, well.  I clearly don’t have  much going on.

I ran and I can do this!  🙂

I had a GREAT run on the treadmill this morning.  My breathing was under control, nothing was hurting and I actually had one of those disapearing miles.  You know when you are running and running and you look down and you’ve run another mile and didn’t even realize it.  It was really nice. 

I was watching this lady that I’d been watching from the back for a week now.  She is TINY but very shapely and seems to be in good physicial condition.  She was on the stair climber today and I was trying to decide how young I thought she was.  Did I mention that she is TINY?  No bumps or bulges visible from the back.  (Not that I was looking for any or that I was looking that hard!)  Anyway…  I was fiddling with my phone trying to adjust my music and was sort of in my own little zone.  I looked up and she was standing right in front of my threadmill.  She said she just wanted to tell me that I was ‘really working it out’.  You know – encouragement.  It was nice.  BUT THIS TINY LADY IS EASILY MY AGE!  I was kinda disapponted.  I was hoping that I’d have the excuse of youth to explain why she is TINY and I am er, um… not.  Oh, well.  C’est la vie, right?

After grappling with issues related to my knee, treatment and recovery, it’s time to address another issue:  weight loss.  Ugh.  I need to get back to ‘running weight’.  Weeks of inactivity, eating like a fool and just sheer apathy have not been good to me – or that number on the scale.  I can’t deny the obvious ANY longer.  I really need to drop a few ‘lbs’.  My hips, knees and the threads on my pants will all thank me!  There’s a funny video on You Tube that I’m reminded of right now.  There are some words in it that go something like this:  “No more hot cakes, no bacon, no more fried chicken, no more gravy…”.  You can see it here:  http://youtu.be/dYqM9-Fj0Pg.

So, I guess I’m on two simultaneous journeys:  marathon training and weight loss.  Yay!

I can do this, though!  🙂

I took Aleve and ran this afternoon.  Aside from a couple of aches in my knee, it felt good.  🙂  Fitness through pharmaceuticals… 

So I had a bad day yesterday.  I’m feeling much better today.  I am still a little worried about the shorter training period after I recover from the surgery, but it’s okay.  I just want to finish the marathon and I need to keep reminding myself that. 

In the words of my very wise husband, “It is what it is.”

Hand wringing is over and to say that I am disappointed would be an understatement.  Remember – I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wanted to get my knee surgery over with as soon as possible.  I figured if I could knock it out in early July, I’d be back on track with my training by the end of July and I’d have a full 4 months get ready for the marathon.  I’m not having surgery until July 22.  …crap…  So…  Should I give my husband’s suggestion to run a later race more consideration?  I don’t know.  You may want to pull out that party dress, ’cause I’m feeling real sorry for myself again.

The woman who scheduled the surgery may recommend me for a psych evaluation because I started to cry when it was obvious that ASAP was not going to happen.  I’m not sure what made me cry.  I called my husband crying.  I am becoming a cryer and that is not a good thing.  What is the deal with the water works???  Is it that I am afraid my December 4 goal is moving further and further out of reach?  Maybe.  Had I already created a reality in which the surgery was happening on my schedule and not the doctor and hospital’s?  Maybe.  Am I fed up with the ‘stumbling blocks’?  Maybe.  Does any of this make anything any better?  No.  Maybe that’s what I’m most upset about.  I don’t have control over any of this stuff.  I couldn’t will my knee to be better.  I wished for an early surgery date and didn’t get it.  Before the ‘sad song’ violins drown out my thoughts, I guess I’ll move along.  I’m going to have the surgery and it’ll be up to me to make something happen after that.

Today was my ‘XT’ (cross training) day.  I did yard work.  In the heat.   I was tired afterward and I’m already sore so I think it should count.  I will run tomorrow on the treadmill – in pain if I have to but I’m pulling out my old friend Aleve!  Aleve always made it better!  I lived on Aleve last fall and winter.  Yes, I know that is probably part of the reason I am where I am.  ;-/  Anyway.  I’m going to start taking Aleve for the pain/inflamation because right now, it doesn’t matter if I’m masking the pain.  I know what the problem is and it’s getting fixed in a few weeks.

Thanks for visiting!  I promise I won’t always be such a downer.

I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this.  (Ever hear the expression ‘speak it til you believe it’?)

Not much to say today.  Just waiting to find out when I can have knee surgery.  I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to get it over with as soon as possible but I have a sinking feeling that it’ll have to wait until LATE July.  😦  The doctor will be on vacation, then I’ll be on vacation…

I’ll be wringing my hands all day tomorrow waiting for the call from the doctor’s office.

Yay me…

My husband made an interesting suggestion this weekend:  find a different race to enter – one that’s after the December 4 race in case I need a few more weeks to train because of the surgery.  My immediate thought was , “uh, no…” but I may give it more consideration the longer I have to wait for this stupid surgery.  Danged knee.

Well, whatever.  We’ll see.  I’m still planning on running the White Rock. 

I CAN do this.

I believe there is a conspiracy to keep me out of this race.  No one wants me to run this marathon.  There’s always SOMETHING to deal with.  I should have known I couldn’t do this.  Whoa is me.

Alright, I’ve gotten that over with.  You can put your party dress back in the closet.  No pity party just yet.

Wondering what’s going on?  I need knee surgery.  I know…  WHAT THE HELL??  (Sorry – this isn’t a children’s blog.)  I’ve been struggling with one ailment after another since last October.  It was my knee, then I got a cortisone shot and it was ‘healed’.  My hip started hurting.  I got a cortisone shot and physical therapy and it’s good.  My knee (the same one as before) hurts again.  I got physical therapy and it’s not any better.  So, one more doctor visit and an MRI later and here I am.  I’ve got cartilage damage and if I want to ever run without the knee pain, I need surgery.  hmph… 

I’ve already heard too many stories about friends of friends who’ve had knee surgery and were on crutches, in casts, wearing braces, had to quit sports, blah, blah, blah…  Ugh.  I know people just want to be helpful (some people just want to talk), but please:  if you want to be helpful to me, tell me about the people that you know who’ve had knee surgery and were in better shape after a QUICK recovery.  What 40-somethings do you know who are GLAD they had knee surgery?  Those are the stories I need to hear. 

You may need that party dress before it’s over.  I’m having a hard time with this but I’m trying to keep looking at the bright(ish) side.  I’ll be on crutches for just two days and possibly recuperating for just two weeks.  It will be tight but I could still have time to train – I think.

Oh, boy…  CAN I DO THIS?