No sense in dragging it out.  I fell.  On my knee that had surgery.  ugh 

So, how’d it happen?  I let a big wasp in the house (WHY ARE THERE STILL WASPS FLYING AROUND IN NOVEMBER ANYWAY??) and was sort of backing away from it and I tripped over our doggie gate.  So, I was moving backward quickly, my foot got caught on the gate and I hit the wood floor HARD on my knee.  Right away, it felt like hell.  The pain was so intense that I was curled up on the floor, grabbing my knee, rocking in pain.  I am not exaggerating. 

I had my phone in my hand and instinctively called my husband.  Poor guy….  At first, all I could do was yell “I fell, I fell”  over and over.  Then I started yelling “I fell on my knee” and was crying hysterically.  I don’t know what I was most upset about, the pain or the fact that I’d fallen on the knee that I just had surgery on back in July.  I kept thinking that I was gonna try to stand up and would realize that it was broken this time.  Can you even break your knee?  All I knew for sure was that I was in terrible pain and the dog was licking my arms and the side of my face like there was no tomorrow.

My husband was saying some stuff about how it would be okay, blah, blah, blah.  I appreciated it.  Actually, I was so glad that he answered.  I felt helpless lying on the floor and I really needed to hear his voice. 

When I got up, I realized nothing was broken.  I could walk with a limp.  I had yet ANOTHER big sore on my knee.  I think I have the worst looking knee in America.   I’ve got two nickel sized old scars from falling last year, my brand new nickel sized open sore from falling two days ago and three sets of triple incisions from knee surgery.  I look like I’ve led a really hard life if you can only see my knees.

So, enough of the belly aching.  I fell on Thursday.  I don’t run on Friday, so I had a full day and a half of icing and rest.  On Saturday morning, I got up and ran.  By then, I was walking without a limp.  It hurt a little going up the stairs and I could see a little puffiness from the fall, but I thought I was okay to run a little bit.  After all, I only needed to run ‘5 easy miles’.  How many times have I questioned the term ‘easy’ when it’s attached to running 5 miles???  It wasn’t easy.  When I first headed out, it was sore and a little stiff.  After about a mile, it sort of loosened up and I felt alright.  By the time I got to 2-1/2 miles, my knee was getting more sore and I felt like I shouldn’t be running on it.  So…  I ran another mile and a half to my house.  It had started to rain and I just wanted to be back at home fast, so I ran.  (Uh…  not that I actually run fast…)

Now that a few hours have passed, my knee feels fine.  I’ve been sitting most of the day and I’ve also been icing it, BUT it really does feel fine.  It is strange.  Most of the discomfort while I was running was coming from the outside – like my SKIN over my knee was hurting.  It felt like it was stretching and that stretching was causing the pain.  The pain was very different from back before I had surgery.  That pain came from inside my knee. 

Maybe I am just rationalizing.  I’m scheduled to run 16 miles in the morning – which may or may not happen anyway.  It is going to be raining in the morning.

This is not running related, but I am sitting here reflecting on the past 12 months of my life and I really believe that this has been the absolute worst year of my life.  Lots of pitfalls, disappointment, bad things happening, health scares, and just general crappiness. 

I think that while I was lying on the floor in pain, I was most afraid that one of the few things that I (me, myself and I)  have  complete control over was gone.  That would be a very bad thing.