Not Sure What to Think Now

This has been a weird, weird week for me.  This was my do-over week because I was sick last week and only ran two times (on Monday and Tuesday).  I felt so good after my all of my runs that it was almost surreal.  I got tired on the tempo run, and was bored on the 8 mile marathon pace run on the treadmill (it was too cold to run outside), but other than that, I felt GREAT!  I did not do my Friday run, though.  I opted to spend that day getting a deep tissue massage and having lunch with a friend.  I sort of thought I might get out and do the easy 4 miles Friday evening but I didn’t do it.

I felt so great after my runs this week that I was sort of glad that my cold (or whatever I had) forced me to get some rest.  I was ALL OVER THE ‘REST‘ BANDWAGON!  Rest is my friend.  I was feeling really ready for the long run – as ready as one could be.

So…  (Already see where this is going?)

We ran White Rock Lake.  It was cold and windy but sunny when we started.  It was a beautiful day.  I was well rested, had eaten a little bit, I’d taken allergy medicine and Aleve, my clothes were comfortable (except for a little bra issue), I was feeling pretty good about the run.

We started off going too fast but slowed down to a manageable pace after a couple of miles.  After about 5 miles, my right hip started hurting a little.  Uh -Oh.  By 7-8 miles, my left hip had joined the fun.  Not good.  I kept thinking that I’d run through it.  Had the quick start caused this?  Maybe this is what happens after not having a long run the weekend before, I don’t know. By 11-12 miles, I was in flat out pain.  My hips were stinging.  In hindsight, maybe I should have stopped then.  I ran until about 13 miles and had to stop and walk.  After walking a little bit, I tried to run again but realized after about a quarter of a mile that it was a no go.

I had to walk most of the way from 14 miles to 21 miles.  I trotted a little bit here and there as I was able but I was mostly walking.  Should I have just quit?  I didn’t think so because the pain went away almost immediately after I stopped running.  From about 15-19 miles, I didn’t have any real pain while walking.  After 19 miles, my left shoulder started hurting, my knees had begun to hurt and I was feeling pretty freaking depressed about the whole situation.

On three occasions during the ‘run’, I had flashbacks from my awful long run in Houston in the heat and humidity when I thought I was going to die.  Just like then, I was gasping for air and my throat felt like it was closing in.  I’ve decided that part of it was anxiety.  When I started to get really upset about having to walk and was feeling like maybe I couldn’t complete a marathon after all of my training, I got a choked up feeling and then the gasping started.  When I could get myself to relax and calm down a little, it went away.  😦

After the ‘run’ was finally over, my stomach started to hurt – I mean REALLY hurt.  It was terrible.  I had to GO so badly…   This was a new experience for me – one that I could have done without.  In addition to the stomach ache, I became so sleepy that I couldn’t keep my eyes open.  We had a little bit of a drive before we could go home and I slept for most of it.  I was groggy and just out of it.  I’m kind of in disbelief just thinking about it.  I don’t know what happened to me.  I wish I could do over this do-over…

When I got home, I had another first:  an ice bath.  Okay, I know it’s an ICE bath, but I was not prepared for how much the cold water would hurt.  My feet were screaming!!!  After I inched my feet out of the water a bit, I was able to sit semi-comfortably – okay, no….  I was able to ENDURE the cold.  I got out after the ice had mostly melted away and got into the hot shower.  Did I undo the ice bath?  Who knows, but the hot water felt great!  After my bath and shower, I got in the bed.  Called it a day.

As I’m writing this, I am getting teary eyed.  I feel so sad that my ‘run’ was so terrible.  What in the world happened to me?  I don’t know for sure what went wrong or what to do differently at this point.  I found a training program that made sense to me, that I felt was doable and would help me to complete the marathon before they take up the finish line at 6 hours.  I still feel like I’ve done the right things for me but I can’t help but wonder if some of the comments that I get about my training might be on target.  Well, honestly, there’s only one constant theme for the  comments that I get and they goe something like this:  “You run too much”  “Wow, you run a lot” “That’s a lot of running”.

So, let’s examine this.  Yep, I run 5 days a week but each run serves a purpose:

  1. Monday:  slow, easy run just to get out and stay loose – is supposed to be taken REALLY slowly and that’s what I’ve done, they’ve been either 4 or 5 miles
  2. Tuesday:  marathon pace run – to get used to running at the pace that I plan to run during the marathon
  3. Wednesday:  tempo run – to get used to increased intensity/increase anaerobic threshold
  4. Friday: – just like Monday’s run
  5. Saturday:  long run – to get used to running for a long period of time – increase in mileage of long has been around 10%

It doesn’t really matter whether I run too much or not at this point.  I can’t take any of it back.

I don’t know what went wrong for sure.  It could have been any number of things:

  1. I just had a crappy day
  2. I started off too quickly
  3. My shoes are still too new
  4. I hadn’t stretched enough this week
  5. I didn’t do enough of my strength training this week
  6. It was all in my head
  7. I run too much

In the end, I know I need to do what my husband kept telling me on Saturday.  “Don’t read too much into the run.”  That is so opposite of how I normally react to things – as you can tell from this long blog…  I guess I’ll end with this:

What went RIGHT on Saturday:

  1. I covered 21 miles

  2. I didn’t quit.

  3. On the day after the ‘run’, I feel great.  Nothing hurts.  I’m not sore or stiff.

  4. It wasn’t the marathon.

  5. I got to cheer on some guy who was running a 5K.  He was hot on the heals of the guy in first place.

  6. I learned that I can keep going (however slowly) even when in pain.   So – if I fall apart during the marathon, I will know that I can keep going for a long time still.

Maybe I’m rationalizing;  I don’t know.  I’ll try to focus on the positives.  This was my very last loooong run and even though it sucked, I need to move on.  I’m moving into my ‘tapering’ weeks.  Twenty one days til my marathon!

OOPS!  BEFORE I END

This week:

  • Monday:  5
  • Tuesday:  8
  • Wednesday:  5
  • Thursday:  rest
  • Friday:  0 – was supposed to run 4 miles but I went to the spa instead
  • Saturday:   21 – was supposed to do 22 but I just did not have it in me
  • Sunday:  rest

Here’s what’s up for next week:

  • Monday:  3 easy miles
  • Tuesday:  6 miles at marathon pace
  • Wednesday:  5 mile tempo run
  • Thursday:  rest
  • Friday:  4 easy miles
  • Saturday:  14 miles (okay, that’s kind along, but not CRAZY long)
  • Sunday:  rest
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3 Responses to Not Sure What to Think Now

  1. Pingback: Déjà vu…all over again! | RunJunky

  2. Keep at it. One thing I learned from running marathons is to never beat yourself up over a bad experience on the road (we all have them – pro runners do too!). I also have a motto of not being too pleased with myself over a good run either – it helps keep a balance. For example, we tend to use the ‘good’ run as our new benchmark to live up to, but it doesn’t work that way. Sleep, nutrition & life stress are only a few variables that can really affect us. I think it is fantastic what you’re doing and your running program looks sound too. I will follow your progress. You WILL finish on the day – it is totally different from a training run!

  3. Run Dedeaux Run says:

    thanks – great point about not using the ‘good’ run as my new benchmark

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